Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
