I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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