I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
