She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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