I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
