You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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