Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
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I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
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We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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