All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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