It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
