I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Boobs speak an international language.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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