your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
