I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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