I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
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After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
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I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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