Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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