Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
