we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's rum buckets o'clock
How does one acquire holy water?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
