Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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