i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
