Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
