how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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