It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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