Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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