youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
