They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
