I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
