I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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