i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
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Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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