I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
