he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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