you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
