Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
