You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
