As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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