What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
