She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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