She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
