Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
