Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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