cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The beer is more important than you right now.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
