Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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