Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
