Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
