marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
