You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
