And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
