How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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