dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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