There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
third nipple confirmed
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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