After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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