Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
whose ass print is on the piano?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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