Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
