i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
