Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Randomize
