Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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