Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
