So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
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We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
my poor anus
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She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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