turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
