Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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