You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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