You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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