I looked at my own cervix.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
