sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
