he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
