Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
