Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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