I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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