Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
